My Key Takeaways from ‘The Midnight Library’ by Matt Haig
Everyone has at least a few regrets they wish to take back by reverting time, the regret ranging small to big like hurtful words we’ve blurted out at our loved ones or decisions of not taking the shiny new offers (i.e. jobs, moving country, etc.).
This book starts with the protagonist, Nora, deciding to end her life when she feels she has no one who cares for her, lost her job, and made a number of small and big regrets she wishes to take back. After that, she visits ‘the Midnight Library’ where there are numerous books that contain different versions of Nora’s life stemming from millions of decisions she made throughout her life. At the library, she gets the opportunity to explore and live different versions of her life; once she finds the best version of her life that she is copacetic with, she can decide to stay in the version of life forever.
As Mrs. Elm, the librarian at the Midnight Library, puts it, “You have as many lives as you have possibilities. There are lives where you make different choices. And those choices lead to different outcomes. If you had done just one thing differently, you would have a different life story. And they all exist in the midnight Library. They are all as real as this (root) life.”
The book is full of precious nuggets of wisdom about life and is such a mesmerizing read. Here, I share my takeaways that resonated with me.
1. You don’t have to understand life. You just have to live it.
While Nora is experiencing different versions of her life that derived from different choices she made, she sulks at the librarian, Mrs. Elm, that she doesn’t understand the meaning of her life. Nora doesn’t understand what she wants in her life or how her life can be best lived. At one point, she is tired of ‘sliding’ into different lives and wants to give up trying.
Mrs. Elm tells Nora, ‘You don’t have to understand life. You just have to live it.’
I often question what the best version of life looks like for me and how I can make my life more meaningful for myself, for others around me, and for the society. The answer to this very question lies in us as everyone’s life and how one defines the meaning of life are distinct from one another. The only way to find our own unique answer to this question is just to live it, having faith in ourselves that as long as we keep on living our lives, eventually, we will uncover the true meaning of our lives.
2. ‘Life begins,’ Satre once wrote, ‘on the other side of despair.’
“The game is never over until it is over. It isn’t over if there’s a single pawn still on the (chess) board…. Don’t give up! Don’t you dare give up, Nora Seed!”
As the book approaches the end, Nora has a new perspective towards life that effectively changes her root life. With the new set of optimistic lens toward her old life, she is amused with the newfound beauty in her old life.
“…with the trees all around and the river just behind, refracting light, she marvelled at it as if she were seeing it for the first time. It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see…. It was interesting, she mused to herself, how life sometimes simply gave you a whole new perspective by waiting around long enough for you to see it.”
Fluctuations in life are part of living, and our lives will often stumble on mishaps once in a while. Yet, how people tackle difficulties in lives influence the outcome afterwards. If we view failure as opportunities to be humble and be more open-minded by challenging our previous set of beliefs and actively find ways not to repeat the same mistake, this spurs growth to forestall future mistakes. However, if we are rigid with our existing beliefs and not learning from the experience in the face of failure, we are missing out on the invaluable growth opportunities leading our lives to become disconsolate and hopeless.
3. It’s not your fault. What we consider as facts are only half of the whole story.
Not being a good caretaker of her cat was one of the regrets she had and she wanted to live a version of life where she didn’t let her cat, Voltaire, out onto the road; Voltaire was hit by a car and was found dead in her root life. When she slides into the version of life where she was a good cat owner, she finds her cat’s dead body at home upon waking up. With big disappointment and flabbergast, Nora comes back to the Midnight Library and asks Mrs. Elm why Voltaire was already dead in the version of life where she was supposed to be a good cat owner.
Mrs. Elm explains that Voltaire had a serious disease and was going to die eventually in a matter of a few hours. In her root life, Voltaire knew that his time was up, and he went outside because he was going to die. Not knowing this, Nora had jumped to the conclusion that the poor cat was dead because she let Voltaire out in the road.
Mrs. Elm continues, “So, you see? Sometimes regrets aren’t based on fact at all. Sometimes regrets are just…a load of bullshit…. It is not the lives we regret not living that are the real problem. It is the regret itself. It’s the regret that makes us shrivel and wither and feel like our own and other people’s worst enemy.”
To conclude…
If I’m given a choice to ‘slide’ into versions of my lives that diverged from millions of small to big decisions I made in my life, shall I take the chance?
No, I wouldn’t. Every small incident, decision, mishap, and mistake are all parts of my life that I embrace, and have made me who I am as a person now. I am by no means perfect, but I am an optimistic person trying to figure out the true meaning of life and how I can leave a positive footprint on the people around me and on the society.
Through the flow and ebb of my life that are out of my control, I shall continue to stay hopeful and embrace my life as a whole as the only way to learn is to live.
“If one advances confidently,’ Thoreau had written in Walden, ‘in the direction of one’s dreams, and endeavours to live the life which s/he has imagined, s/he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”